Struggling in your relationships? Romantic or non romantic, relationships are hard right? WRONG.
Too many of us are under the impression that it should be hard to have a great and thriving relationship. The real truth is; it’s only hard when you have no idea how to navigate situations and emotions.
In this FREE web-series we will cover with world leading speaker Arnoux Goran, exactly what you need to do to ensure you have life long & lasting relationships. Free of drama and stress.
For more info visit: https://totalhealthmasteryusa.com/
The only step by step guide you’ll ever need to leading an amazing life of relationships.
Subtitles to the video :
They say that men have issues with intimacy don’t they but do women have issues with intimacy too in my experience they do issues with intimacy is not just a male problem it’s a human problem and it’s not because there’s something wrong with you it’s because we haven’t been trained to learn how to develop intimacy it is a learning skill and it’s something that people are starving to death for I want to teach you how to create unbelievable amazing intimacy in your life with every single person that you want to have intimacy with because there may be some people he don’t want to know at all I’m not just talking about sex intimacy is about safety and closeness you can have amazing intimacy with your kid because you know they feel they can tell you anything you can have amazing intimacy with your mom or your dad because you know you can tell them anything and vice versa whereas with your lover wow that might lead to incredible experiences that we might even call spiritual experiences while making love I’m not talking about religion.
I’m talking about feeling a deeper sense of connection with someone than just a mental or physical connection maybe even a solar heart connection would be the right way to say it this is the third video in the series so if you haven’t seen my video on amazing relationships if you haven’t seen my video on how you’re working on yourself can affect other people watch those two first and then come on back to this one if you’re ready you’re in the right place to learn how to create incredible amazing intimacy really with anybody now the first thing you have to do of course is remember that you’re responsible for your feelings and nobody can make you feel anything and from that place you realize that if you work on yourself and permanently remove the buttons that people pushing you that you’ll affect your experience of them you’ll affect your relationship with them so now let’s apply this knowledge to intimacy intimacy is when you feel completely safe with someone and or they feel completely safe with you so if you want to to have the experience of amazing intimacy you have to become the kind of person that can do and have that you have to become that kind of person who can have amazing intimacy what does that mean that means that you have to make yourself feel safe with other people and you have to make them feel safe with you think about this it’s your responsibility to cause other people in your life to feel safe around you it’s someone that you know and love going to share their problems with you.
If they already know that all you’re gonna do is judge them or even worse yell at them they’re not gonna tell you they’re gonna think it’s a white lie to not tell you because it’s better than getting yelled at or it’s better than being judged they just won’t let you in anymore so if you want to get in if you want to be close to them if you want them to tell you anything and everything and really feel connected to them then you have to make them feel safe that’s your job not theirs now vice versa you feelings take with other people will partly depend on them and if they are a non-judgmental person so what’s interesting is that as you release your judgment of yourself and your judgment of other people you’ll attract people naturally that are not as judgmental and you’ll begin to have more and more intimacy in your whole life with everyone around you even in the workplace you’ll feel like you can tell your colleagues what’s really going on really share your ideas whereas before maybe you didn’t maybe you were afraid that they would judge you and you erase your own judgment and your own fear and suddenly you can share enough so intimacy is something that we create ourselves by working on ourselves and have given you the first clue erase your own judgment and if you erase your own judgments you might find that people say to you I’ve never felt this safe in my life they might say to you you should write a book on dating even on the first date.
They might say to you you’re a sex gone you should write books on sex and all that you did was spend time clearing out all the layers of judgment using the seven steps reprogramming your slow up going through layer after layer until you are safe for the other person consciously and unconsciously for me I started eating really healthy when I was young because I almost died literally at 22 I was told by my last doctor I was gonna die and I started doing my own research because I had already been to every type of doctor of every type of medicine I could find in a phone book and within six months I had completely fixed my body and I wanted to share with other people what I had learned and died of course played a role in that nobody wants to talk about diet so no one wants to change their diet and what I found was that I had some judgment about it so I consciously decided to stop being judgmental and people could eat all the unhealthy food they wanted and it made a difference but I still heard from my audiences as I was teaching that they felt like if they didn’t follow the healthy diet because there is only one scientifically proven healthy diet you’re not gonna find it 99% of books out there trust me but if they didn’t follow this diet that somehow I was going to judge them but I had consciously decided that I would never do that so it was weird to me and I realized something.
I still had unconscious judgment so I started erasing it that’s what the seven steps does it works on the unconscious so it’s layer by layer by layer of all this judgment I didn’t even know was there at oh the audience mirrored it to me right remember we talked about that in the last video that people mirror to you stuff for you to work on that’s how I found out I had that stuff I didn’t know so I started working on it and working on it and working on it and then within six months the audience members started saying something else to me they started saying you know what I’ve never taken a health course in my life where I felt completely no judgment I was completely free to do anything I want eat whatever I want exercise or not exercise to do whatever I wanted to do and that there was no judgment at all I’ve never taken a health course like that because every other health course I’ve ever taken I always felt judgment from the instructor but not from you and I heard that over and over and over again and what that showed me was that I had changed the mirror showed I had transformed myself from having unconscious judgment to being totally congruent in being non-judgmental about health and nutrition and diet that was only one thing there’s other layers of judgment that we carried on every subject in life and if you have judgments about yourself like if you think that your body isn’t good enough guess what you’re gonna judge other people’s bodies as soon as they get close enough to you the closer someone is to you in your life the more you’ll treat them the way you treat yourself.
So all the judgments you have about yourself you will project on to those very close to you so if you get really close to a best friend or a spouse or a lover or a child or a parent you might find that you automatically without trying to totally against your conscious will judge them judge how they dress judge their body judge what they say judge what they do and every single judgement that you have about them you have about yourself and vice versa so in order to create intimacy you have to get rid of all of your judgment how can someone open up to you and be super safe and close with you if they can sense that you’re going to judge them even if you don’t say it they can feel it right you know what I’m talking about because you’ve experienced that in your life in America there’s a huge problem with parenting oh those terrible teenagers it’s not always the teenagers a lot most of the time it’s the parents who don’t know about parenting and what they’ve done is they’ve been a dictator to their child and a judgmental person to their child projecting all their judgments that have on themselves onto the child and then when the child gets old enough to be their own person to think for themself and become an adult they begin to rebel against their parents dictatorship there are rules and their judgment whereas if the parent had taken the approach of being a mentor developing a close relationship with their kid to teach them everything to know to be successful and happy in life without forcing them to follow their rules the kid would always go right to a mom or right to dad to the parents a mom and dad my friends at school or drinking beer.
What should I do but instead the kid just does it and does it wrong because I have no training on how to deal with these situations they go have sex not knowing how to do that right and they get into trouble they have problems because no one mentor them on how to do these things properly because there’s so much judgement about those things if you want your teenager to come to you for advice and actually follow the advice it starts with at an earlier age being their mentor not their dictator and accepting them unconditionally no judging at all and if you can be non-judgmental with your kid what’s gonna happen they’re gonna feel like they can tell you anything and everything what if you don’t have any kids oh well it’s true about your friends it’s true about your sweetheart it’s true about your employees it’s even true about your boss it’s true about your parents everyone in your family you’ll have the experience that you’re the go-to person for them to come talk to you about their problems because you’re the one who doesn’t judge them cuz you’re the one who will listen and say I understand without pointing out what a loser they are and how stupid they were and why did they do this and why did they do that and don’t you know veteran oh my god I can’t believe you and I’m so humiliated that you’re my friend involved all this judgment stuff that’s not gonna ever create intimacy that’s gonna create walls between you and the other person this leads into a whole other conversation that I might have to give you will see on how to be in love your whole life but I’m giving you the beginning pieces because if you’re judging someone that you love you’re creating walls between them and how can you be in love with someone when there’s 18 walls between you and them if you remove all the walls then you can be connected at the heart again you can be in love again.
So if you want to have amazing intimacy with and everyone which means to feel so safe with them and then so safe with you that you can completely open up and even share everything you’re thinking have you ever had that before have you ever had anyone in your life where you could tell them any and every thought that runs through your head and feel safe that they’re not going to judge you that’s real intimacy if you’ve never had that you’ve been missing out because you’ve been alone the whole time to truly be connected to other people and not be alone means that you can share everything about who you are and be yourself where you are when you’re by yourself now if you don’t like yourself when you’re by yourself that’s what you got to work on and guess what that is that’s self judgment you should love yourself the way you are I say should because it’s an ideal but it’s a realistic ideal if you learn how to erase judgment permanently and as you erase the layers of judgment permanently you can then accept yourself the way you are and if you accept your stuff the way you are you’ll feel safe to be yourself with other people if they’re a judgmental you’ll just know not to be everything yourself with those people but you’ll find friends like you you might even teach people how to be like you by having them watch these videos and learn how to erase their judgment permanently as they learn the seven steps to reprogramming yourself which is of course the first and most important tool and how to do that so to make it really clear you learn the seven steps reprogramming yourself you erase layers of judgment you have about yourself and about other people because they’re the same thing and as you do that other people will automatically feel safe with you people will start to say things that are amazing that you’re thinking why are they saying this to me.
Because you started putting out this vibe of safety and non judgment and really what it is is unconditional love that’s what I’m teaching you is how to become unconditional love and as you do you’ll have intimacy automatically it can happen in a moment you meet someone and instantly you feel connected and you don’t have to spend hours and days and weeks and months to get to know them to have intimacy it’s really all about working on yourself in clearing out the judgment and that’s when the intimacy shows up with everyone in your life and you can become that person that people say I’ve never felt so safe in all my life I had a nurse go through my courses her husband and her parents were both doctors my health courses and I thought when she got up to share or she was gonna say that my health courses were better than any medical will she had been through and she did say that but first before she said that the very first thing she said it surprised me was I’ve never felt so saved in all my life as I feel here with you.
And she meant the entire seminar and that was done on purpose because I created a space of non judgment and love and acceptance in the entire seminar and you can do that in your life if you can just deal with one person you’ll be able to deal with more and more people I know you’re saying he’s talking about loving myself yes I am and as you take away the judgment and love yourself unconditionally it’ll be the same for other people again they’re just your mirror they’re just your mirror if you feel judgmental about them you’re judging yourself too so we’ll talk more about the seven steps reprogramming yourself and how to permanently remove these layers as we go forward I really wanted to break down intimacy for you in the next video we’re gonna talk a little bit more about how to get rid of your baggage and the other tools and we’re also gonna talk a little bit about how to be the most amazing authentic person that you can ever be see in the next video