Struggling in your relationships? Romantic or non romantic, relationships are hard right? WRONG.
Too many of us are under the impression that it should be hard to have a great and thriving relationship. The real truth is; it’s only hard when you have no idea how to navigate situations and emotions.
In this FREE web-series we will cover with world leading speaker Arnoux Goran, exactly what you need to do to ensure you have life long & lasting relationships. Free of drama and stress.
Get started now. Talk to a certified Goran Technique Coach for free. Click here: https://arnouxgoranseminars.com/getstarted/
The only step by step guide you’ll ever need to leading an amazing life of relationships.
Get started now. Talk to a certified Goran Technique Coach for free. Click here: https://arnouxgoranseminars.com/getstarted/
Subtitles to the Video:
It’s time for amazing relationships people say that relationships are hard but what if they could be easy I believe they can be if you learn how to make relationships easy relationships are a skill that anyone can learn but most people don’t have any training at all I’d like to share with you in this video series how to have an amazing relationship with anybody it’s going to come down to the number one and only real rule in relationship so I’ll reveal that to you in this video I’m also going to share with you in the series of videos how to create incredible intimacy with anyone I’m not just talking about sexual intimacy I mean a real deep connection with people you’re gonna learn what happens when you transform your relationship with someone there’s three possible outcomes that are mind-blowing I can’t wait to share them with you and then I’m also gonna share with you the four tools of personal transformation that can cause a permanent change in you and in your relationships with other people I can’t wait to share with you before we get started hope you don’t mind if I tell you a little bit about myself and how I got to be one of the top 1% of speakers in the world and a relationship expert both my parents are deaf so that means they can’t hear but I speaks blue in sign language and they had a terrible drug addiction and that caused me to be exposed to a huge amount of verbal violence physical violence chaos drama trauma it was terrible and as a result I lived in a world with constant anger and frustration and fear and sadness and no really powerful relationship advice or guidance or mentoring not from my family intimately and so I had to then realize for myself.
But I was very broken down and I need to learn how to fix myself I needed to learn how to become someone who could have amazing relationships so I made it a self-study and I took tons of courses I read tons of books and I began to recognize that with the 4 tools of transformation that I know I could literally create these incredible relationships with people and I remember telling someone from my family I haven’t had a single argument or raised my voice to anyone in years and no one has raised their voice to me I literally have peace and harmony and all of my relationships and it’s been that way for a very long time and he said I wish I could have that for just one day I know that I have lots of collagen and all that sort of training but I don’t think any amount of PhD is a real qualification I think the real qualification is real life results and in my seminars with thousands of students I’ve seen people transform their relationships in ways that are unimaginable so not only did I do it for myself but I’ve been successful at teaching other people for years and years and years how to do it and I’ve really mastered the process and I want to share it all with you in this video series at least the basic fundamentals because we’re not going to spend a whole month in training let me give you the fundamentals in this very expansive series of course in relationships and introduction to it let’s get into the first and most powerful piece of how to have an amazing relationship there’s one rule of relationships.
What is the rule people don’t know the rule is nobody can make me feel anything I’m responsible for all of my own feelings nobody can make me feel anything I’m responsible for all of my own feelings now what that means is that when someone does something we tend to think they did this in that that’s why I feel this way but it’s reversing it to say oh they did this and that and they’re triggering my emotions that were already there inside of me from before and all they’re doing is bringing it up to the surface for me to work on that is a completely different perspective it changes relationships from being a battle perhaps or you being a victim to other people’s behavior to you being a powerful person who is growing as a being as a result of other people mirroring to you what there is for you to work on within yourself it can be difficult to swallow but don’t think of it as being responsible means you’re to blame that’s not what it means it means you’re powerful you’re not a victim your response able you’re able to respond so if somebody else is grumpy and that makes you sad you might say oh you made me sad because you’re grumpy but in reality they’re just grumpy.
Your response is you’re spots it doesn’t really have anything to do with them except that they are pushing your button and that’s your button not their button so what we tend to do in our culture and the year 2019 is point a finger out the other person and say you made me feel this way but remember when you’re pointing a finger there’s three more fingers pointing back at you and so what it’s showing you is something for you to work on within yourself if you think about let’s say an incident happens in a public place like a fire or a robbery if you were to interview 20 people who witnessed it you would get 20 different variations of what happened why does that happen have you ever thought about that it’s because everyone is seeing life through their own perspective and all their own filters the reason why science requires double-blind studies on anything they want to prove is because human beings don’t see things exactly as they are they don’t see reality exactly as it is a scientist will automatically without trying to project his or her views and beliefs onto reality and so the only way you can know if something is actually real outside of each individual humans perspective is to do double-blind studies where nobody has any of their sub sub subtext or subconscious thoughts interfering with what they’re seeing so when you apply that to relationship.
What it means is that however someone acts you’re gonna see it to your filters you’re gonna see it through your past experiences your belief patterns and a lot of those belief patterns that you have aren’t even yours they were installed and programmed into you when you were a child by your environment even from before you’ve got like for example you could inherit belief patterns and so these thoughts and feelings that you have distort reality and then you have your response so what’s powerful is to recognize this is my response I’m responding this way because of what’s inside of me everyone has a different response to every situation how you respond says a lot about who you are and if you can work on your response and think about making yourself a relationship master then you responses and be incredible then you’ll respond to situations differently then people will look to you and say wow how’d you get to be so amazing because you’re coming from that one place of no one can make me feel anything there was a Vietnam veteran who was captured he became a prisoner of war up EOW and he said in his book that he was living inside of a hole in the ground with a cage or you know a prison bars basically on top of him and that he couldn’t move or do anything and they abused him and abuse him then many of the other POWs went crazy but he didn’t and he revealed the secret of why he didn’t go crazy as a prisoner of war he said I realized that nobody could make me think anything.
That I was in charge of my thoughts so no matter how they acted my thoughts were mine I could choose positive ones I could choose good ones ones that made me feel good and therefore I was okay whether people lost it because they couldn’t maintain a positive perspective we know biologically that every single thought creates chemicals in your brain bio chemicals living chemicals that we call emotion that’s how you feel feelings every thought creates feelings it’s a fact it’s an anatomical fact of the human body every time you think a thought it makes you feel something and nobody can control what you think and therefore no one can control what you feel we think that there are automatic natural responses to certain things but that’s not true either human beings across different cultures have completely different responses to things that in one culture everyone responds a certain way so they think well that’s us how you respond but in another culture you have a totally different response for example in the American culture when someone dies we think that you’re supposed to be sad that’s the normal human response although people have been changing it and throwing celebration parties when people die to celebrate their life because they’ve started to say you know we don’t have to be sad when they’re gone.
We can be happy for them that they’ve moved on to a better place now there’s other cultures where they cry when people are born because they believe that being in the body is suffering so they mourn the oh it’s so sad that you’re born in the body poor you and then when they die they celebrate like crazy because they’re finally free it’s actually the reverse of the American culture isn’t it well which one is right to you as a relationship master can choose which response you want but it does take work you’ve got to work on yourself and now you have to understand most of the work that’s out there in the world is temporary which might be very deflating what’s the point of working on myself to go to those issues always come back that’s a waste of your time the only kind of work you should ever do is when you remove an old issue old baggage and old button that it’s permanent it’s not permanent you’re just really mostly wasting your time and there are permanent methods out there I’m going to tell you about four of them the only four I know that are really fantastic but I would ever recommend in the last video in the series so make sure you go through the whole series to learn about that if you work on yourself in a permanent way you’ll see yourself responding differently to situations and that’s where it’s so powerful for you to follow that number one rule no one can make me feel anything I am responsible for all my feelings no one can cause me to do anything no one can push my button if I don’t have a button there it’s my button and what this leads us to is that most of the feelings that we have inside of us actually come from the past and someone else or something else triggers our stuff to come up to the surface.
And you know what I’m talking about you’ve said something to someone and they got really really angry way more pissed off than they should have been for what you said and you realize oh they just have a trigger there there’s really sensitive on that subject or why because they have past experiences that have built up inside of them that caused them to have all those emotions and you know not to step on those landmines because if you do they’ll blow up you’ll trigger their stuff well don’t you have stuff as well it’s really easy to find it and to prove that you have your own relationship things to work on think about your biggest problem in relationships right now think about someone in your life that really triggers you you got it in your mind okay now think about the thing that they do that really upsets you frustrates you may you afraid saddens you makes you angry okay annoys you think about that thing think about it happening now take your attention and go into your body how does it feel in your body when you think about it okay you might be you feel the emotion right where in your body do you feel it find it maybe it’s in your heart maybe it’s in your gut maybe it’s down in your toe it could be in your head wherever it is find it now if it had a size in the shape what will this size and shape be what you have discovered is some of your stuff one of your buttons that that experience is triggering in you you notice that’s actually stored in your body somewhere it’s there it’s been there for a long time if you ask yourself the question how long have I felt this way when was the first time I felt this way you’ll see many iterations in your life where that emotion came up and came up and came up by different circumstances and maybe up until now you thought that those circumstances made you feel that way.
But that was actually there all along you might be thinking I already know this stuff this is basic so of course it is this is the first video in the series I have to go through the basics but you would probably know that there’s a lot of us who have never heard this before now this is a big revelation to consider that that feeling I just found has been there all along and that other people are just pushing it and triggering it to come out and then it wasn’t actually them at all but that feeling with your feeling to begin with and it needs to get released and that’s what’s so beautiful about taking responsibility is then you can start thinking about how can I release this forever so that I can be amazing in all of my relationships so I want to share with you something that happened to me that demonstrated this experience and this power of being responsible for your own feelings I had a family reunion with my incredible family they’re wonderful people and my grandma who I considered the Queen button-pusher at least she was while she was alive she really pushed my buttons and I got very upset very angry very frustrated very enraged actually at her and I decided okay driving home I’ve got to be responsible for how I feel it’s not her it’s me this is my anger she’s just triggering my button and really as I started clearing it out I realized I had many buttons and she was pushing a lot of them at once and so I was removing all these buttons and I thought okay I can’t think of anything else that she said that upset me literally I thought I had cleared them all out and then I talked to her on the phone and she said I know I wish you’d get your life together and I got upset and I realized I hadn’t cleared all of the buttons.
There was still one left I think there must have been 20 to begin with but the other 19 were gone and so I said okay I got to clear this laughs but so I worked on that it only took a few minutes and I thought okay I’m pretty sure I cleared the last button I don’t think is anything left now so then I had an hour call with her and for a whole hour all I felt was how much she loved me and how much she believed in me and when she said I wish you’d get your life together I didn’t even notice until I was sharing with someone about how for the first time in my life I had a call of my grandma and I didn’t get triggered at all and I had literally cleared all the buttons then I went to Chicago and went spent five days with her we went to the Blue Man Group Alinta Pamela the operator we went to the park and we had a great time together I had a chance to tell her about what I do and what my dream is way back in the beginning when I was first starting out as a professional speaker and author and she finally got me and she said wow everyone needs to know this information I said I know that’s why I’m gonna dedicate my life to this and that kopi a doctor or a lawyer or a stockbroker and all the other things I could do I want to do this because I know I could help people more with this and anything else I could ever imagine and she became one of my biggest supporters and it was because I could let her in I could never let her in before because of all those buttons I had that were not actually because of her when she was being critical what she was actually doing was trying to love me that was her way I didn’t get it all I heard was the criticism and I got triggered and once I cleared out all the triggers I was able to hear her just fine.
I know you’re wondering how did you do that how did you clear the buttons permanently there’s a process called the seven steps to reprogramming yourself I’ll tell you more about it later in the series and just hold onto your hat I’m gonna I’m gonna get to that but it is amazing and it is scientifically proven to work in fact it’s the fastest method in the history mankind so I’ll be really excited to tell you more about that later I want to share one more thing with you in this video before we go on to the second video and it’s because it’s crucial that help you understand the number one rule I saw Marianne Williamson one of the greatest speakers give a presentation on relationships and at the end I told my friends they said did you hear that that’s literally my class she literally gave my class amazing relationships but she added some stuff to it and they said really that’s your classic said how when she heard my class there’s only one one thing to teach about amazing relationships and she popped this ain’t one thing for 90 minutes you’re responsible for all of your feelings everyone else is just showing you what to work on and she gave an analogy that I want to borrow from her she said that back in the day with Michelangelo was commissioned to carve the Statue of David.
He sat in front of this giant piece of stone for months people came by and said what are you doing and he said I’m working and it is kept saying that what are you doing I’m working and then finally one day he got out his tools and he started chipping away all of the stone until it was gone and what was left was the Statue of David and people said Michelangelo how did you create the Statue of David that’s amazing and he said I didn’t create the Statue of David God created the Statue of David or you could save the universe if you wanted to break the vine the Great Spirit doesn’t matter but it’s the way he said God create the Statue of David I just took everything that wasn’t him off so I believe that you’re a divine being and that your anger your fear your frustration your sadness and all those other negative emotions that you have from your past are not really who you are that they masquerade as who you are and that the process of removing them permanently is the same as even leaving the stones off of your divine being and the tools for how to do that or coming as we go along but that’s the idea is that if you hold on to the fact that no one can make you feel anything then you can begin to find where you can transform yourself and become your most amazing you so go ahead and get started on the next video I’ll see you then